Big Questions

Most questions from a three-year old are batting practice fastballs ("Daddy, can I play with the axe?"). Occasionally, though, he'll throw a nasty slider down-and-away.

Last night, Jack was getting bored watching the legendary 'baby jaguar' episode of Diego for about the 38th time. He noticed a lovely little book, My Bible Storybook, that Annie received at her baptism. [Editor's note - I had forgotten how many people got whacked in the Old Testament: Goliath, the male children of Israel save Moses; even Jonah and Daniel had some touch-and-go moments there. It's like The Sopranos with worse food.]

After the first page, in which God creates the universe, I was feeling pretty good. Then came page 2, "A Bad Apple," about the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Jack: What's that, Daddy?

MDM: That's an apple.

Jack: Why is there an apple?

MDM: That's an apple from a very special tree that Adam and Eve were not supposed to eat.

Jack: I want to eat the apple!

MDM: Yeah, that's actually not surprising.

Jack: lmlmnnlnnnlnlnnlnl

MDM: Jack, please don't lick the book. You know you're not supposed to lick books.

Jack: But Daddy, I want to eat the apple!

MDM: That's the thing about temptation, buddy. When someone tells you you can't have something, you want it even more. God told Adam and Eve not to eat the apple, but they didn't listen, so God got very angry.

Jack: Where is God?

MDM: uh ....

Jack: Can I see him?

MDM: Not really. God is just all around us. We can't see him, we just believe that he exists.

Jack: Why?

MDM: ummmmmmmmm

Jack: Where does God live?

MDM: In heaven.

Jack: Can I go there?

MDM: um, er ..... Not right now. Let's skip to the part where Baby Jesus is born!!

I'm realizing now that we're going to be seeing more and more sliders, curveballs, change-ups, spitters, forkballs, split-fingered fastballs, knuckleballs and moonballs in the months and years to come. And I'm going to have to step up my game.