POLICE BLOTTER

Bethesda, MD. Tuesday, January 6, 2008. 7:04 p.m.

Authorities responded to reports of an "assault" on the second floor of a Bethesda home. Witnesses reported that the suspected assailant, Jack (2) had sprayed the victim, Floyd (8), a housecat, with a bottle of Febreeze fabric freshener. The suspect admitted to the spraying at the scene. The victim's sister Janice (8), wisely fled the area prior to the assault. When the suspect refused to relinquish the Febreeze bottle to authorities, he was sentenced to two minutes in "time-out" and was released on his own recognizance. The victim is reported in stable condition and, in fact, does smell a lot better.